Blahg, week ending 11/23/19

Monday, 11/19

Over the weekend I discovered a song called “Fives” by guitarist Guthrie Govan that I really liked and which inspired me to pick up my guitar to see if I could capture the same uplifting, bright vibe. I think it’s in E minor, because the notes of that scale sounded correct to me, which leads me to my next point: it’s really cool when a piece of music is able to turn the typical notion of a key, scale, or mode on its head to make a minor piece sound happy or a major piece sound sad. For example, to my ear, I have a way of playing E Major so that it sounds more bittersweet, and without committing to the “happy” sound of major, because that sound is often so sickeningly sweet.

Goes to prove that while music theory provides rules by which to play music with are helpful and necessary, the rules can be broken when it feels right to do so. It’s like cooking. You can follow recipes to the T and end up with a tasty meal, but it’s also possible to get something delicious by breaking some of those rules, provided you know what you’re doing and have an idea of how you’d like the food to taste. Making bacon and eggs is a relatively simple process but the results are amazing; AC/DC’s song structures are, compared to some other bands, relatively simple but the results are amazing. Does the fact that the process used to achieve the end result is on the, relatively speaking, simpler side, make either any less great? Obviously not. By the same token, jazz music composition is pretty much based on the premise of first following the rules of music theory, and then breaking them. And jazz music is awesome. So, what I’m trying to say here is that there’s no universal way to achieve a great-sounding piece of music, and that breaking the rules can yield cool results.

I have musical examples but not examples of complicated recipes because I am a culinary basic bitch.

Guthrie Govan playing "Fives"

There’s a café here in Bridgewater, the owner of which sometimes hangs his paintings inside. I thought these Jackson Pollock-like pieces were cool.

Tuesday, 11/20

Day 1,021,820 in a row (approximately) of cold and gray weather. Summer didn’t just end this year, IT DIED. Suddenly. How does one live when 4:30pm instantly turns into midnight and darkness reigns absolute until 6am? Autumn and winter in New England are like the planet from Chronicles of Riddick. 

I recently bought a copy of Battlefield V for the PS4 and have been playing the online mode, where me and a bunch of other players fight World War II battles against another bunch of players. While I’m slowly getting less awful at it, I still am getting shot a lot! Not only that, the game has a feature that, when you’re killed, you don’t die right away. You have a few seconds during which you can press L2 to scream for help and have your teammates revive your character before your character bleeds out. It’s freaking disturbing. I’ve heard my character yell out things like “I need help!” “I’m dying here!” and “There’s blood everywhere!” Jesus. If I have to hear that, I wish that there was an option to have your character yell out some custom lines, maybe something like “I’m dying here so that some assholes can talk shit on social media in 70 years!” Now there’s some DLC working DL’ing.

Wednesday, 11/21

The Wednesday Night Wars continue and NXT arguably had the better show tonight! Wrestling writer and podcaster Bryan Alvarez, with whom I generally agree, made the argument that this NXT episode wasn’t really an NXT episode because it featured so many members of the Raw and SmackDown rosters. I think he’s right to a point here but not completely. Main roster stars were featured on the show, but it’s not as if they were wrestling each other and excluding NXT talent, making it an episode of NXT just in name. There were 2 outstanding matches this night; Matt Riddle wrestled Ricochet, from Raw, and Kyle O’Reilly and Bobby Fish wrestled the Revival, who are on SmackDown. Ricochet and the Revival came up through NXT, so it can be said that the show was heavy on NXT alumni. In fact, I don’t think any of the Raw or SmackDown wrestlers DIDN’T come up through NXT. So, I think it’s fine. In the end, though, it’s WWE, and logic doesn’t apply, so I don’t know why I’m bothering. The NXT stars looked great, and I was entertained.

Thursday, 11/22

Random factoid of the night: SNAP has 2 million monthly listeners. I was genuinely surprised. I learned this after hearing “Rhythm is a Dancer” in a commercial during a Bruins game and wondering if Miami Sound Machine performed it, prompting me to take to Google. Another fun fact: three different versions of “Rhythm is a Dancer” comprise SNAP’s top 5 most popular songs and total 84 million listens. The shit you learn when you ask pointless questions! Also, I didn’t know SNAP did “The Power”, as in “I Got…”

Friday, 11/23/19

My workday was bookended by medical emergencies on the commuter rail line which delayed the morning train and cancelled the evening one. I was going home on the 6:52pm Middleboro/Lakeville train that, shortly after disembarking from the platform at South Station, quickly came to a stop. I initially didn’t think much of it because it happens every so often, like whenever an in-bound train is running behind schedule and train traffic has to stop to let it pull in. After a few minutes, though, the conductor announced that we’d be standing by due to a medical emergency on the platform. I thought to myself that I hoped the person was okay, and I figured it’d just be a while before we’d take off. I got lost in my book and before I knew it, 45 minutes had passed. Then right on cue, the conductor announced that not only was there a medical emergency on the platform, that it was also now a crime scene and our train would not be going anywhere anytime soon. Holy shit. So I got off and started walking back to the station. I passed a train car sectioned off with yellow police tape and surrounded by transit police and passengers trying to get some information. I still haven’t heard exactly what happened, but later read on a news site that a woman tried getting on the train as we were taking off. I know the MBTA doesn’t allow that, but is it a crime? When I told this story to a few people and posed that question, they all drew the conclusion that she must have been pushed. Again, holy shit. Whether that’s true or not I don’t know, but as the next train wasn’t gonna be leaving for an hour, I passed the time by nursing an overpriced beer at the Tavern In The Square and finishing the free sample of Stephen King’s “The Institute” I downloaded. Not a great way to spend a Friday night, but better than being hurt and/or arrested for hurling myself, or being hurled at, a train.

Blahg week ending 11/15/19

Monday, 11/11/19

There was a chalkboard outside of the diner I went to this morning that read the following.

I took a picture and posted it on Facebook, and accompanied it with a thank you to the men and women who have served in the military. It was just a very small way to show my gratitude and appreciation for what they’ve done and what they continue to do.  I can only imagine what it’s like to perform a duty that entails me waking up every morning and being placed directly in the line of danger. I’m able to occupy my thoughts with how well the Pats played on Sunday or how great the last episode of pro wrestling I watched was, because these men and women are placed between me and those that would do me, and our country as a whole, harm. I am truly grateful.

Nov. 11 is also my cousin Tim’s birthday, and my aunt held a party for him, so we celebrated his coming into the world on this fateful day many years ago by eating the delicious Portuguese food she made. And cake.

 Tuesday, 11/12/19

I was late arriving for trivia night so my teammates took the liberty of calling our team Sucking on the Teat of Disney+, and rarely has a name been more fitting. Did grown-ass adults really take the day off for the launch of Disney+? I heard rumors so. I’m not really surprised, I guess. But the idea of missing work to stay home and binge watch Chip and Dale’s Rescue Rangers doesn’t sound appealing to me. I do want to watch The Mandalorian, though, and I’d appreciate if people would stop fucking spoiling it on social media. Not all of us took the day off, guys! The statute of limitations surely still has to be in effect. Anyway, my trivia team won, both by finishing in first place and by making the hostess say the word “teat” every time she announced the scores.

Wednesday, 11/13/19

AEW and NXT were both great this week, which makes it kinda suck that they’re both on at the same time. There’s, of course, the argument that going head-to-head fuels competition and improves the quality of both products, but I’m not convinced that this applies to AEW. When the Young Bucks, Cody, and Kenny Omega teamed with Tony Khan to create it, they had a vision of what professional wrestling could be, and I think even if their show wasn’t directly competing with a WWE product, they’d primarily be focused on bringing that vision to life. Of course, a major part of that vision is being unlike WWE. In AEW, story lines have made sense (barring a few missteps), instead of WWE’s “this is happening, don’t worry if it makes sense, we’re not burdened by logic” (a hilarious moment on social media was when a porn company @’d WWE on Twitter and asked if they wanted help creating cohesive stories). They’ve implemented a win-loss record, which I was actually against at first because over a long period of time, they may write themselves into a corner they can’t get out from. But so far it’s working out pretty well, and wins and losses affect what you see on screen. And maybe most importantly, promos feel natural and the pushing of certain stars feels organic. Hearing Chris Jericho call Cody “an entitled Millennial bitch” is fucking awesome, and exactly something a grown ass man would say to an opponent. This is especially apparent when I tuned to NXT during a commercial break and heard someone call his opponent a “putz.”

I actually think more than AEW, NXT will be most affected by the direct competition. AEW has beaten NXT in ratings every week since its debut, and if that gap ever increases, Vince McMahon is eventually going to get more involved. Now, he’s not going to sound the red alert the way he would if AEW was going up against, and winning against, say, Raw, or even SmackDown. NXT is WWE’s third-tier brand and is not get beaten by staggeringly overwhelming numbers. The viewership this week were 957,000 for AEW and 750,000 for NXT; last week, it was 822,000 for AEW and 813,000 for NXT. For their third-tier brand’s show to be that close to AEW’s only show is pretty good. But after WCW launched Nitro in the mid-90’s and nearly ran WWE out of business, there’s no way Vince McMahon is ever going to leave the door open for the competition like the way he did for WCW again. He’s a smart, shrewd businessman, and if the gap between the shows starts widening, I have no doubt that he’ll personally intervene in NXT, for better or (much more likely) worse. So right now it feels like he’s giving Triple H to book NXT as he has been, with the “indie” feel that has made it the awesome product it’s been. But numbers don’t lie, and if AEW starts burying NXT, things will definitely change.

 Thursday, 11/14/19

Yeah nothing really interesting happened today. I went to work, got home and sat on my couch, watched Family Guy reruns for two hours, then went to bed. Not every day can be an winner. But at work I did learn that both American and German Amazon chat support representatives will effectively tell me to go fuck myself when they can’t help me, and abruptly end the chat sessions. Good to know that the world is becoming smaller and that cultures are becoming united when it comes to not giving a shit!

Friday, 11/14/19

My cousin and I saw Doctor Sleep, which was good but really deviates from the book in places. I had to remind myself of my own rule to view movies as a separate interpretation of the book’s story, lest I fall into hipster-like snobbery (you know, like “so-and-so band USED to be good before they got SIGNED”, followed by a sip of PBR). Also, for the entire movie I wasn’t sure if that was Ewan McGregor playing grown up Danny Torrance, and whatdya know! It was. Ole’ young Obi Wan himself. Worth seeing.

It was preceded by 25 fucking of previews, though. This trend of long-ass preview showcases started when The Force Awakens came out a few years ago. I didn’t think much of it at the time because that movie was an event in itself: the sequel to the original Star Wars trilogy was finally here, so it didn’t surprise me that I ended up having to sit through half an hour of previews, because money! But nearly a half-hour of previews before Doctor freaking Sleep tells me that this is not only becoming a normal thing, but that I can expect 45 minutes of previews for the next cinematic event, like, say, The Rise of Skywalker. And eventually, 45 minutes of previews might become the norm for any movie.

Also, I paid $7 for a small popcorn and still ended throwing out ¾ of it, making it a waste of both money and food. During a previous movie going experience, I asked if I could buy the super-small popcorn that came as part of some kid’s meal package, which I didn’t even know existed at a movie theater, thinking that it’d be sweet to pay, like, $5 for food that would largely not be thrown into a garbage receptacle. Makes sense to me! But alas, no. If I want popcorn, I am going to pay at least half the price of what I paid to see the movie, and either consume a foot-long bag of it or throw part of it away. That’s the American way! Portion control and rational spending are for communists.

The Silver City Galleria was largely empty, and while that isn’t surprising, the point was particularly driven home by a large Christmas light display suspended above two levels filled with no one at 8:30pm on a Friday, in front of an abandoned store that used to be JCPenny’s. When the Galleria first opened I loved going there and making the occasional Friday evening out of it like any sexually frustrated adolescent. When Final Fantasy VII came out at the start of my senior year of high school, I got it from the GameStop. I bought Dragon Ball Z VHS tapes (Google it, kiddos) from the video store (Google it, kiddos) there. There was even a cool Japanese import store that had a wall of katanas for sale, which leads me to wonder where all those katanas went when the store closed – maybe someone out there has a bunch of discount, Store Closing Sale Everything Must Go katanas in their possession now. Maybe they gave them away as gifts. “Here, have a katana, I have 42 of them in my spare room.” Shit, I wish I knew that person because I’d like to receive a katana as a present. Hell yeah! Who wouldn’t? But then again, this is coming from a guy who cut himself on a bottle of olive oil, so maybe it worked out for the best.

Blah Blah Blog Week Ending 11/10/19

Monday, 11/04/19

Coworkers brought leftover, unclaimed by trick-or-treaters candy to the office. A plate of it, overflowing at 10am, was almost entirely depleted by 2pm. When I first saw it I immediately thought of that scene in Scarface where Tony Montana put his face in the mountain of coke on his desk.

 Before

 After

Oh and check this out. Monday Night Raw was largely garbage this week, but a bright spot on this show, which was in Long Island, was the arrival of the East Hampton Polo Boys. Now I know they’re obviously one-time jobbers, and they were definitely squashed by…shit, I don’t even remember. I mentally tuned out of the show after they had Asuka tap out to fucking Nataylia in what was one of the all-time fuck-WWE moments. Ugh. But the East Hampton Polo Boy were a great visual gag and slight tic in the direction of the episode’s redemption. Too bad we’ll never see them again, because I’d make it a point to tune into a pay per view in which they took on the Mean Street Posse in a Long Island vs Connecticut turf war match. I even have the stipulation: if Long Island wins, Connecticut residents have to disclaim their Yankee fandom. If Connecticut wins, we sever Long Island and let it drift out to the ocean. Either way, everyone wins.

Tuesday, 11/05/19

Today was Guy Fawkes Day, and like any good American, I have no idea what that means outside of that it was mentioned in V For Vendetta. BUT it did give me an idea for my personal favorite trivia team name ever…

The hostess, Alison, should have given me points for originality and cleverness. Speaking of points, let’s segue to a story from trivia night.

During the game she announces a word of the week that you can submit the following week for 3 points, kind of like a reward for being a returning player. I didn’t play the week before, but I have absolutely zero shame about asking the regulars what it was. On this night I asked Charlotte, the sweet little old lady regular who reads books while enjoying glasses of white wine but will take a break to tell stories of her fellow parish members. She does this in that way that assumes you already know who these people are. Do you know what Father Bill did last week? I do, and I still don’t know who the fuck Father Bill is. But she’s nice, sweet, and funny, so it’s fine.

Anyway, I asked her for the word of the week. She wrote down “Amol”, saying that it was an app we can get on our phone, and that she had just submitted her answer. So, I wrote “Amol” on the back of the answer sheet and turned it in. A moment later, Hostess Alison came over to me and asked what the hell I had written. She said that it wasn’t right and couldn’t give me points; I said it was fine, because I didn’t know what the answer would be. Turns out the right answer was “LMAO.”

Now, at first I thought that Charlotte was being sly. Oh, you wanna come over and ask me the word of the week while you were plainly not here last week? This will learn you, you young whipper-snapper. Back in my day, Father Bill would have made you recite ten Hail Mary’s. After talking to her again, however, it became obvious she got confused, and I can’t hold that against a person of the elder persuasion.

The point of this story is that we tied for 1^st place but lost the tie-breaker. Had Charlotte given me the correct answer, I’d be writing this as Le Champion, and not as 1^st Place Loser (also known to Millenials as Participation Trophy Recipient. ZING).

Wednesday, 11/06/19

It was great coming home at night to this notification from the gas company.

Leak? Repair? No gas? Having to talk to somebody? Ugh. I wouldn’t have minded if it wasn’t so freaking cold, because no gas=no heat. Fun fact, fellow Columbia Gas of Massachusetts customers: their customer service department closes at 7pm. So basically if you have an emergency, make sure it’s before 7pm, otherwise you’ll be warming up by a trashcan fire like a box-car hobo in your own home. Well, nothing could be done about it, and it’s wrestling night, so I tuned in and let it distract me from the cold.

AEW:Dynamite is the best pro wrestling show there is right now. This was the go-home episode before the pay per view on Saturday, which means that the final angles leading into the event took place. Cody, the son of Dusty Rhodes, cut a promo so great that the Rock gave him props on social media. He’s challenging for the world championship against Chris Jericho, who remains the best heel in the world. Check out the video he made mocking Cody’s from a few weeks ago. I laughed out loud several times, including at this gem quote from SPOILER AHEAD Virgil (!), going by the name of Soul Train Jones: Jericho’s talent is like the breadsticks at Olive Garden – never ending.

Thursday, 11/07/19

Did you know that if the gas to your home is shut off even for reasons that have nothing to do with your account being delinquent or, really, anything that is a fault of your’s, that the gas company will not give you an ETA as to when a technician will get out there to turn it back on? Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m happy that they were able to detect and fix a leak somewhere along the path to my apartment, as I dislike suffocating, being poisoned, and being exploded. So, big ups for that. But when it’s 32 degrees outside and I have to wait at home on a weekday morning, I would like to know if I’ll be working from home either for part of, or all of, the day while huddled under a blanket. But NO DICE. The gas company is like the cable company in that they’ll send a tech out, who will get there when they get there. Actually, the gas company didn’t even give me a window of time which the tech could ignore, which I prefer. At least I know where I stand.

I did make it to the office after noon, and on the way home apparently rode the train of the beast. Side note - I noticed this after looking up from my copy of Stephen King’s Doctor Sleep.

EL DIABLO

Friday, 11/08/19

You know what happened today? I went to work, came home, got food, and watched a movie on my couch. Glorious. I finally saw This is 40, and I don’t know if the crush I have on Leslie Mann or the man-crush I have on Paul Rudd is greater. I’ll turn 40 next year so this was kind of like a preview of my 2020 minus the good looks, money, and fucking mansion of a home in which the characters live. Also, this movie was a rare example of the relationship/marriage of characters on a show or movie being INTERESTING. In most tv shows or movies, anything romance-related is only good during the chase and is boring as fuck when they get together. Until this movie, I only had one example where this wasn’t the case: April and Andy from Parks & Rec, who were awesome apart and made each other even better. This is 40 is so good that I hope in three years they make a sequel called This is 50. I’m sure both of them will still look like fucking real-life Photoshop.